Here is ur Answer...

When you're not in mood I can know that..
But why when Im sad or moody you cant feel that?

U don even know what is my mood so don say you know that and
yesterday you are not in mood i really don know, as what i know i don like see people with moody face so I'm trying to make u happy but in the end you run away.
And U mention that is not the first time but did u ever told me that ?
Anyways, I just can say SORRY here since that u don wan to face me with this problem.

Sometime something I dont want to do but I know you want it for long time already..
I just accompany you lar..
At least you're happy
Its better then both are unhappy mah..
For example lar..
That day we went to Poppy..
Actually Im super duper sleepy and tired and moodless..
But I see you so high how I dare to make you down..

Here I tell u something. I hate people trying pity me or actually u not willingly do it but u just do it. Please next time if u really don wan please tell me, i don wan feel like I'm forcing u to do all those.

Tell you what..
Even you always say you're not love him
You dont want to love him..
It cant make the reality changed or make you lose all the feeling..

I admit that i still Love him, but as to comfort myself and let myself not to think of him this is my way to settle the feeling in my heart, what else can i do ? I'm not U... as u mention that is ur own way and here i can tell u back this is my way but this not means i don wan to accept the truth.


Every times when you're not in mood you scold me..

I'm very very very SORRY !!! Sorry for everything. I don means to hurt U..


But Im curious why when Im not in mood
You scold me but not comfort me..

Sorry..Sorry...Sorry...I don understand U....but i can tell u why i din comfort u cz i don wan u to put more hope on him. If this way is not correct then i really Sorry...cz i been hurt b4 and i don wan same thing happen to u, but seem like the situation is different then i only can say SO SORRY !!!


Know why every time I've something I didnt tell you at first?
Because I scare you scold me lar..

Now i know...Thanks for letting me know...and just to inform u if u did something wrong i will tell u and if u think i'm scolding u for fun, i don know what can i say beside sorry to hurt U....


Last time you asked me dont shake my legs..
I said you also shaking your legs..
And you said because you're listening to the songs..
And I was too..
Then YOU SCOLD ME BECAUSE I ARGUE WITH YOU

Sorry again...i know u not satisfied cause that day i say u like that...ok fine...the reason i ask u don shake ur leg is for ur own good... as i'm also do that but i also don like it cz my parents told me that shaking leg is not a good habit, but sometimes my daddy also do it but i din blame him cz i know it's a habit, but i still understand why he don like me to do that. If u really not satisfied what i say here, then u can just ignore it and continue the way u like.

Whatever I say for you its wrong..

I just give my advice i never say U are wrong, just u don wan to accept what m i saying. If i really do that, Sorry again....

the day he went away

Grass are green, Sky are blue, Blood are red....and.....

The fact is there, just wait till this girl came out from the nightmare. Finally she decided to give up and away for a while to recover what she had been through. One is her friend and another is the one she love. At first she doesn't think so much and she had never fall in love with someone that deep. But after that she learn a lot what's about life and people around her.

Date : 03.05.2010 Monday

This girl call up her friend to tell her that she's not going to involve anymore. This girl really get hurt by her friends and that guy, this girl ask her friend out for a drink and talk about that matter. She hoped that her friend can honestly admit and tell her what ever that she didn't tell this girl but seem that her friend doesn't care much of the relation between both of them and her friend didn't admit what ever she have done. This girl was totally disappointed, she ever put so much effort in the relation but in the end she realize that how much her friend care about their relation. In fact this have proof that this girl's friend more concern about that guy then this girl.

One day, that guy nudge this girl in msn, asked like "how are you". This girl really don know how to answer this question even seem likes this was a simple question, then this girl just reply it as what people normally answer "I'm fine". That guy continue asked "do you mind if I like xxx", this girl almost take half an hour to answer this question and she answer "It's important", then that guy reply "yes", and he also mention that he just know that this girl was interested with him as told by her friend. As what that guy say "yes" and she wanted to know how deep that guy has step into the relation between that guy and her friend, so she decided to tell the truth of her friend because this girl scare what if one day that guy get hurt by her friend and she totally lost her mind when she think of the day that guy get hurt by her friend and wonder will that guy blame her for not telling him the truth.

Just after telling him, that guy straight away call her friend to ask for the truth but that girl didn't admit and continue lying. That night really was a big war for three of them. Her friend also straight away message this girl and saying this and that, but that time this girl was very clear with what she was doing and admit that what she have told that guy and she also tell her that she doing all this for the person she care.

That guy has step into it very deeply as what this girl can see. Because he can totally lost his mind and get mad of her friend. Since that happen, that guy suggest that all of them meet out and talk about it. All of us agree and prepare to face the problem. That night really hurt this girl feeling because all of the reason came out was solving the problem between that guy and her friend, no one understand how this girl's feeling when she realize that she has totally lost that guy, how much pain when she saw how that guy care of her friend and actually she knew that guy gonna gave her friend a chance.


--to be continue--

this girl and that guy...

Just that night this girl arrive KL, she go and meet up with that guy and their friends as well. Seem like nothing have change just like usual eat dinner then chit chat then go home. Till one day the girl felt something wrong but she ignore all of those cause she know she can't change anything. She felt that guy has change, like he's not interested with this girl anymore, in the other hand that guy have feeling with her friend.

But this girl didn't accept the truth and continue hang out with them and continue believe that they have nothing. Beside just go for drink or dinner they also go for movie and clubbing.

Since she felt something wrong she always predict something going to be chance and continue putting hopes, even every times that guy will call to this girl's friend mobile phone to look for her friends, but this girl gives herself a reason that she don care who's he calling as soon as she can meet up with him.

This girl getting more clearer and clearer and she start jealous with her friends. Every times that she hopes something but in return she get disappointments. She start felt that she is the extra between both of her friend and that guy so she decide try to chase back his heart. But this girl don have any experience on handling such kind of situation and this only make her felt even suffered, till one day her friend went back to her hometown, this girl take this advantage to spend time with that guy without her friend.

Both of them went for a dinner party at One Utama to celebrate his friends birthday. That night this girl really appreciate all the time she been trough with that guy cause she knew she have to give up on him already, and she knew even her friend not beside that guy but her friends was still always keep in touch with him and her friends know everything what have they been through . The next day morning, this girl still wanna meet that guy again and this time, this girl really felt that she was extra and she was so embarrassing when she went to that guy house and his friend like tried to tell her something but she pretend that she didn't listen anything.

After few day, this girl realize a lot. She realize that even she got that guy but not his heart is meaningless.


-to be continue-

The Story...

The story start in an afternoon, a girl receive a message from a guy who's also studying in the same campus as where the girl study. This guy came from the same hometown as where this girl came. Surprisingly the girl and the boy's friend mostly know each other but there don know each other till one day the both of them been invited to one of their friend birthday party and that guy saw the girl on that day but the girl din even realize the existing of that guy and the girl also did get a change to know that guy on that day. The worse part is the girl only realize the exist of that guy after that guy told the girl trough phone.

And the story begin here, one day that guy wanted to know that girl, so he get her Face book trough his friends profile and he start sending her message, when after the girl realize that there is a friend who's actually so near with her but she din even know him until that guy told her. Day by day and time by time, both of this girl and guy actually staying very near to each other but they never meet each other in their hometown.

Date, 03 Jan 2010, that girl back to KL.

The relationship between this girl and that guy is getting closer. As they already start chatting in msn, one day that guy ask for that girl phone no. so the girl gave him her no. and directly that guy start calling that girl and they start chatting to each other trough phone. Both of them start knowing each other, as that guy start telling his story and how was his life.


By the time, the girl was in KL and that guy was still at his hometown. They never meet each other till 25.02.2010 which was the campus registration day. This girl was so excited to meet that guy cause they never get to meet each other in their hometown and they only see trough each other photo trough their Face book profile. Finally, they manage to meet each other in the bursary hall where the girl queuing for the school fee payment.

Then after the girl settle everything in campus, she felt a little boring so she and her friend plan to go for a drink so did the girl message that guy to ask him join them as well.

All of them really spent their precious time chit chat, making jokes and telling about all those funny story. Start from that day, both of them know each other friends, so every time they meet up sure they will bring up their friend as well. This girl getting more friends and she felt very happy and every day she wanted to meet them at least a dinner or a drink.

Before this guy came to KL, he try to approach to this girl but this girl never start a relationship with any guy before so she ask that guy why did he wan to be with her even he haven know her well yet, and that guy answer " we must give each other a chance so that they can know each other more", the girl din give any respond she just wan to be friend with him first cause she is still considering whether that guy is making fun or he really means it.

One day, the girl saw that guy kissing another girl photo in Face book she start guessing and thinking maybe that guy just wanna have fun so she also din ask that guy who's that girl but in a very natural way the guy told that girl about his ex girl friend's story and he also tell about what happen to him during his birthday.

Almost everyday they meet up and this girl start to get into his life and start giving both of them a chance to understand each other more. Till the day 15 March 2010 until 30 March 2010, this girl went to London and she start realize how much she miss that guy, where ever she go she will think of him. And of course she bought back something for him and his friends as well. =)



...........................to be continue......................

Ur Smell ~~

Wat had happen to me ? Y i smell ur smell on my shirt ?? It's so funny !! m i missing u ? will that happen if i admit that, but it's really amazing...i feel myself was so stupid...hahaha...or maybe my soul are with U and that's y my body got ur smell...totally out of my mind... Lian Hwa come back lo.

Stop Stop Stop !!! I should not think of u la. But some times i really miss u, wonder what are u doing....haihz..why m i still continue huh !!!

-The End-

Thanks Vone !!

1. 遇到你真的爱的人时，要努力争取和他相处下去，因为当他离开时，一切都来不及了。。。
2. 遇到可相信的朋友时，要好好和他相处，因为在人的一生中，能遇到的知己不多。。。
3. 遇到人生的贵人时，要记得好好感激，因为他是你人生的转折点。。。
4. 遇到曾经爱过的人，记得微笑向他感激，因为他是让你更懂爱的人。。。
5. 遇到曾经恨过的人时，要微笑向他打招呼，因为他让你更加坚强。。。
6. 遇到曾经背叛你的人时，跟他好好聊一聊，因为若不是他今天你不会懂这世界。。。
7. 遇到曾经偷偷喜欢的人时，要祝他幸福唷！因为你喜欢他时，不是希望他幸福快乐吗？
8. 遇到匆匆离开你人生的人时，要谢谢他走过你的人生，因为他是你精彩的回忆的一部分。。。
9. 遇到曾经和你有误会的人时，要趁现在解清误会，因为你可能只有这一次的机会解释清楚。。。
10.遇到现在的相伴一生的人要百分百感谢他爱你，因为你们现在都得到幸福和真爱。。。

It's really meaning full to me, especially when i always ask "what should i do"

...the progress...

day by day...time by time...and i my heart is still there. I don wan !! I wan to get off from all this but why every times i see all the photo i will feel pain and that i also don know what's the reason.

This few day i keep on revised back all the memory i have been spend with him and the thing that he told me. Should i still keep those memory.

I wondering what's she trying to do this Saturday !! I strongly believe that she going to plan something. But i only know i wan go and relax ~~ what ever she wanna do is non of my business. If she think hurting me is a fun then i have nothing to say !! I know she don know how to care how people feel, she only think if it's good to her she will do it. FINE...

As usual..nothing change my mind. I just wan to be Happy !! huh...darling why even i know he will be Happy to be with her why my heart is still pain ah....Can i say i haven accept all this ? But how should i accept it ? Huh...i'm very scared if both of them hurt me again.

U know every times i think "One is my Friend another one is the one i love" this really like killing me. Brave and Strong is the only medicine that can cure my heart right ??

Why ? ? ? Please scold or scream at me if u found out i'm too over ok ? please i don know how long i can stand all this...I know is very annoy every times i topic is just between me and them, must remind me ok ?? Thanks !!

For Myself..

Dear Darling,

Everything is over now !! Let's go and think something new !! something that more challenging...hehehe..i don know what m i doing to do, but i'm sure that's VERY VERY fun de...hahaha...I think I have put some off now cause i believe i can meet some one that much much better and I'm sure i will LOVE him more then HIM !!!

Now what's only in my mind is enjoy and happy~~ others i don care...So sudden i miss the moment i spent time with friends with all those nonsense stuff..hehehehe...we play till very late night and get scolded after back home...haha...and all this will become the sweetest memory for us...=)..

This few week i learn a lots and getting more clear to what's the reality of this world. Some people haven clear with that, but they will know one day. Some say "they will never learn if we guide them every times" Now i understand why?? u never feel it, u will never understand !! Is unexplainable...hehe..worth it worth it...anyways this is what we call LIFE...

What ever i do, it's all for myself.Don be guilty..just go a head !! I know YOU scare of my feeling..don worry !! i will accept the TRUTH... what i can say is just time will prove everything...I don wan to lost the opportunity to be myself.. But just remind don try my anger..now your stage in my heart still not that worse.

No one going to stop me!!! I wan means i wan..i don wan means i really don wan. anyway tonight i'm going to have FUN with my friends. HehE.. my happiness is not belong to you anymore... U can go and find your own happiness. Dun aspect i'm going to share it with you anymore...

I decide to step out cause i believe this is good for all of us~~ What's going to happen in future we just let god decide for us =) As i go my own way U go ur own way.

Lastly,

LOVE MYSELF

p.s. DON TRY TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE FEELING BEFORE THEY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL !!!

是我想太多 !!!

你笑著說他是朋友
但你眼中太溫柔
我的不安那麼沉重
只有你不懂
*他霸占了你的心中屬於我的角落
所以你說我們不是你和我
是我想太多你總這樣說
但你確沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
是唯一能安慰我的理由

*Repeat chorus

我想我沒有錯怪了什麼
雖然你不說都是錯在我
太晚我才懂愛了你太多
是我想太多你總這樣說
但你確沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
是唯一能安慰我的理由

I'm so sorry...

how come i be so useless ??? i promise not to cry again but why ??? i feel i wanna go home....my heart is really really pain....every times i think of that i feel like i can't do anything...so sorry all my friend actually i m not that brave and strong.

Love is really pain..this is my first time and i already face all this....i never trust a guy anymore....Lian Hwa be strong..BE STRONG !!!!!i know, i cannot blame anyone...i just can blame myself too stupid...

YA LEE where r u ?? how good if u can be my side now...i really can't accept when i think of that. I know you sure will scold me if you know all this but i really cannot control myself !!! Now i understand how is your feeling when u broke up with your ex boy friend. I'm so sorry that time i haven understand all this. Yalee can i know how u handle all this ??

I know i have to be strong !! but not all the time...when is the time to cry i will cry, when is the time to smile, i will..... but seem that my smile have gone so far...i wan to find it back !!!!

"Baby" !!!!!!!

I wonder why some people can get easily fall in love with some one.
I wonder do they really understand what's LOVE means even myself also not understand about it. And the worse part is when i got feeling with someone i will really put a lot of effort on it, and that's why i get hurt easily. I know there is more i need to learn all about it.

Now i know i m in the situation that i need to face the truth and let go all the feeling in my heart. But the more i control myself the more i will love u..i know that, that's why i just wan it to be naturally. How it come just let how it go !!! And every time i feel like i m lying to myself.

A:don play on pp feeling.
B:it come naturally from heart

What else can i say ?? I only can say u r just same as Devil.
Please la...control ur feeling la....don always aspect people to understand you but u din even put some effort and people around u also will getting less and less cz of ur attitude !!!!!!!

RELEASE~~~

Hooray now i'm free....i know i already done something that a friend should not do...but all this i do is for the person i care....a friend that doesn't care how his or her friend feeling we should not care for them...is useless !!! In the end u will just get HURT.... I don know how much she care for me but i already done my part; given her a chances; let her express her feeling so i can understand what she is thinking; be very very nice to her even i'm not feeling good with her; thinking for her everyday even i cry for her; tell her what ever she done wrong but seem like useless; thinking give her another chances but all i get are disappointed . I'm SO HAPPY meet this kind of friend; even now i feel guilty after telling people her bad stories !!! I hope YOU will get ur lesson. i'm not going to helps u out !!!! TAKE CARE la....

For YOU...

Kingsley... can i know how do u feel about the relation between me and u ?? m i still ur friend ?? y i feel there is a wall between us ?? whats happen ?? what did actually u wan to talk to me ? u hate me it's ?? I'm really sorry if i bring trouble into your life... i really got a lots of thing wanna share with you but do u really will listen ?? I don know how to face u... this really making me crazy even that day i don even know Chinda asked u all join us dinner at SK...i'm really SORRY !! Here i admit that i already fall in love with u but i'm really hurt when i found out that u have fall in love with Chinda....don worry i won blame u on this....u have ur own choice...and everything is over. I know u have many assignment to rush on. i just wanna warn you please step out to see how's the thing happening i don wanna lost a friend like you, i as a friend here, i just wan advice u don put so much hope on Chinda. I really don wan you to get hurt by her. So sorry if u feel that i'm trying to say bad about her, i din means that u can't be together with her, i just advice she is not a girl that u looking for. And as her friend i already saw a lots of victim hurt by her. Believe or not u will only realize when u step out and look carefully. And i admit that both of me and Chinda really something happen already, she already hurt me till i can't believe her anymore and she leave a big scar on my heart which will never recover. As we already friend for almost 3 years believe or not she still never care how i feel.

Happy Mother's Day

To my Lovely Mummy....I LOVE U...I LOVE U~~~
mummy your daughter is getting stronger and stronger this few day !!! So many thing happen and that is all call LIFE !! I believe u got the same feeling as what i feel this few week. It's really hurt me~~ till i wan back home and get comfort from all of you.

Mummy you must take a good care. I know i get a lots of trouble for you. I'm so sorry about that.

STRONG MY DEAR !!!

OMG what had happen to me...y so sudden i think of that, it's makes me feel so scare. I hope tomorrow i won see him in campus. Pray Pray Pray...still not the right time to meet you. Please don let me meet u. Huh~~

What should i do if i meet u ? Should i say Hi ? Or should i just act normal or just run away ?? Haihz.. y m i so stupid le... Pretend !!!! JUST PRETEND.
I know i can do it.....

Don't be scare Lian Hwa...u still have so many friend with u. Everything will be alright....

Everyone have their own priority. Just respect the decision. The only thing now is don think of him anymore concern more on your own work. Work Work Work...then u will forget everything. Argh.....still the same shit, ones i think tonight i'm going to be alone i will start thinking again.

Good Bye...

So sorry i gonna quit here. I can't stand all this anymore. Congrats u found your soul mate and i do wish u all the best.

YES !! Finally i saw it. Is time to forget u...

Good Bye !!!!

love is hurt instead of sweet

Is this call Love ?? cause it's always hurt my feeling, i don know why it's always like that, shouldn't it to be sweet and full of happiness ?? how come it doesn't come to me. why should i learn it in this way.

I think people around us is getting more clearer. I also start to feel scare cause it's like i'm going to lose, what should i do ?? can i face it ?? Getting more and more question mark in my mind.

Will time really prove something ? I don dare to take the risk. How come i will become such a useless person. Even this morning i know some one is trying to tell me something but i try to ignore his question and i don wan to face it.

Anyway, i will try to respect what ever decision that u made, and i will try to disappear from all of u..i know is stupid but what i does is to protect myself of getting been hurt. I'm so sorry.

Ng Lian Hwa !!!! Fighting u can do it !!